El Pollo Grande Caper (The Big Chicken Caper) (The CoastWatcher: Caribbean West)
News from the Honduras Bay Islands and North Coast
02 June 2001
By Pierre Renaldo, The Coastwatcher©

One day not too long ago I had a hankering for roasted chicken. I had talked it over with my housekeeper and she thought it would be a marvelous idea to get a large chicken which she would roast in the convection oven. Since it would be the first time she had ever cooked chicken in the convection mode she asked for some guidance in the process. She is a very good cook in her own right but not being familiar with convection ovens she was slightly hesitant.

I was confidant that it would be no problem for her and proceeded to purchase a the largest chicken I could find. I would be feeding a rather large group, consisting of five children, herself, my wife and myself.

El pollo grande turned out to be a smallish looking chicken, but the largest of the lot the nice lady threw onto the counter from her deep freezer, while trying to satisfy a silly request from a silly Gringo for the largest chicken she had.

Hey, after all a chicken is a chicken. Why do these Americanos always have to complicate everything? Carumba!

She was most accommodating, as I could tell by the disgusted look on her face as she tossed el pollo onto the scale. 5 1/2 pounds. Wow! That little critter didn't look that heavy to me.

Well anyway when I handed the dinner to Missey she frowned and said it looked a little on the smallish side but I assured her it was 5-1/2 pounds according to the scale in the tienda.

She proceeded to thaw el pollo and then came the surprise. We had stumbled onto a great find. Probably an all time first, I thought to myself. An anthropological discovery, unequaled in the annals of poultry. A chicken with five, repeat five necks, two gizzards, two livers, one heart and two feet. There were assorted globs of unidentifiable things in the cavity which I will not attempt to describe here. Included also was a good supply of ice.

We did enjoy the dinner very much, in fact so much so that I decided to write to Sr. Pollo Norteno, the kind gentleman whose name was on the wrapper, relating to him the unusual contents of the package. Here is how my letter went.

Estimado Sr. Pollo Norteno;

I would like to take this opportunity to compliment you on the fine job you are doing raising and packaging your chickens. I want to inform you as to a most peculiar situation I noticed last week when my housekeeper found some unusual items inside the cavity of one of your chickens purchased in Coxen Hole, etc. etc, etc.

I thought no more about it until one day several weeks later I received a very kind response to my letter. I will try to quote it verbatim.

Estimado Sr. Reynaldo, ( they always stick the "Y" into my last name for some reason)

It is so nice to hearing from my satisfy customer. I wish to thank you for your expressing of good will and taking this opportunity to have make a special request. There is many time such big demand for our specialty export pollos that we make mistake to sending our premium pollos to the wrong store. What you describe to me very special package that is exclusive for export.

In such competitive business of pollo, we must developing much better products than our competitors, so we are breeding chickens with five necks because chicken necks are big speicality in Honduras. Is our way to getting big jumps on other poultry company, and so I hope I can ask you not reveal such important trade secrets to any peoples. It taken many years to develop this especiality pollo and we not wanting to let the competition knowing. I trust you will understan and respeck our wishes.

Please continue to enjoying our wonderful pollo.

Saludos,
Sr. Pollo Norteno
Gerente General

Totally amazing! I wonder how many heads those chickens have. I remember once that I saw a chicken with two heads in a side show at the circus. Can you imagine what a great attraction it would be for a circus to have a chicken with five necks?

If you would like more first hand information on living in paradise you can make some astounding discoveries of your own. Explore my book site at: http://www.eroatan.com/cgi-bin/pierre.cgi?books

Address questions or comments to: elouis@globalnet.hn

That's all for this week

Ciao

By Pierre Renaldo, Mountain Coastal S.A,. General Contractors, Construction Management and Construction Consultants.