A Return to Paradise (The CoastWatcher: Caribbean West)
News from the Honduras Bay Islands and North Coast
29 April 2001
By Pierre Renaldo, The Coastwatcher©

Sometimes life can become monotonous even in paradise. I know you will be thinking 'How can this dummy be bored in paradise? Paradise monotonous? Come on get real!

But anyway the shopping on the island can become downright tedious. Especially when everybody is out of everything you like and everything you need. Island living is different, and many of you say you want to know about my everyday life, because you think it will fit your lifestyle, once you manage to get here. Maybe so, but don't count on it. We all have different tastes, so our goals and our daily objectives will probably be light years apart.

But after a few tourist seasons here you will find the shortages too irksome, especially after a massive influx of visitors, and short term residents who favor being here over various popular holidays. They unwittingly buy up everything you were planing on using for your holiday get together and now what are you going to do about the wonderful dinner party you have invited six couples over for?

None of the things you were going to use are left. You waited too long again, forgetting that there are limited suppliers in paradise. When those times of year disrupt your 'routine life' you will stick your heard out of the window and scream,, "I'm just not gonna take it anymore!"

Especially when I went to the deli counter to find a very dear close friend had bought up everything I had been planning on using for my holiday entertaining. When she came and gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek, I felt like punching her out. Then I remembered that I was invited to her house, so I kissed her back. Nice lady.

There were no alternatives. I had to make an emergency trip to La Ceiba. So off to the airport. With all the traffic at this time of year I know the manager did me an extra special favor by confirming a flight for me next morning. I was committed to doing the thing I detest most, at any time of year. Fight the crowds. Give me strength!

The eight o'clock check-in requirement for the nine o'clock departure always makes me wonder if these people know anything about maintaining the slightest semblance of a schedule. Of course we didn't get off the ground till 9:45 which is about the usual time of departure for the 9 o'clock flight. I wonder whey they just don't say it is a 9:45 departure and get it over with. We all know the truth!

La Ceiba was warm and muggy but I was not deterred. I walked right past the swarm of hucksters peddling "Taxi?" rides into town for 100 LPS but us old hands know that all we have to do is walk out to the main road and we can get a ride into town for 20 LPS. That extra eighty smackers buys me a very nice lunch. Besides, I'm at war with taxis, especially the taxis on Roatan.

The shopping went very well except for one item my wife was craving so much it's all she talked about for the last two hours we spent together on the island. Tofu! I didn't know any one could get soooooo excited over tofu, that bland mush made from bean curd or some such.

I have never developed a taste for that stuff but evidently there is somebody in La Ceiba who is wild about it because after three big stores were sin tofu (it's defiantly not in the sinful food category, I'm just trying to show off my wonderful mastery of Spanish, and 'sin' means 'without' in good old Espanole.) Not without sin, but without tofu.

Next morning I'm going to scurry back to Roatan early, so I have Israel ,my favorite taxi driver getting his buggy warmed up for the airport run with a stop off at El Marrenito my meat fabricator, but first I had to run over to the big supermercado for a few last minute perishable things I would hand carry home. In my haste I found myself facing the mad morning scramble right where the train tracks run down the middle of the street in La Ceiba.

Odds makers in New York would probably have given me about ten to one against, but I got lucky when to my total amazement a taxi driver actually stopped, displaying the first courtesy I have ever encountered or observed by a taxi. It must have been his first day or something, but I nodded my approval and as I stepped around his front bumper, an impatient bus driver a few cars back came roaring at me with intent to kill.

With the deft and dexterity of a world class bull fighter, I did a pirouette that would be envied by a ballet dancer, leaping with the grace of a circus acrobat, I agily moved out of the path of certain death. Several spectators on the bus screamed their approval of my fantastic dexterity. "Ole`!"they shouted out the windows. All I needed was the tight shiny pants and the funny hat, and I would have made my debut. Ha! Hey, torro!Move over Manolete.

Getting my stuff out of Israel's taxi is always a hassle. It is a hassle cause by ten guys waiting outside Goloson International Air Terminal to help people with their baggage. If you have three pieces a luggage then three different guys want to carry one piece to the ticket counter, and each one expects twenty Lempiras in exchange for the meager service. However I shout "Una persona! Una persona, solo!" They are used to me now. No more of that tourista fleecing with this Gringo.

The check-in agent tries to hassle me for excess baggage charges but I have a very effective argument that works every time. In five years I have only been charged once. I will not divulge this secret on these pages but if you really want to know about how I manage I will only tell you in person. So stop in and see me sometime.

My friendly check-in agent assured me I only had five munutes, so that I should hurry to the counter where I pay my 20 LPS security fee because we were pushing off at 9:30 per schedule. We had wheels up at 10:15. I would have had time to go back into town for more shopping but instead I sat in the waiting room trying not to listen to all the strange announcements. It seems like ten flights left for Roatan before mine was finally called.

On the way we were treated to some over water turbulence, something rare at this time of year. A few very hefty bounces received my immediate attention. Looking out the window I noted the complete lack of sunshine, but a very dark gloom instead. Roatan was having some rainshowers.

We broke out of the junk on final approach, just in time for me to notice that my house on the iron shore was still intact. Nice touchdown, and a quick unloading and I was walking past ten hustlers trying to sell me a taxi ride to someplace on the island. It makes my day when I can walk past and say, "No gracious. Me carro es en parquero."

There you have it. Just another humdrum grocery shopping day, and my return to the island. I told you life can be a little slow at times, even in paradise.

That's it for this week. If you have any questions drop a line at: elouis@globalnet.hn and remember, if you want to read up on how to prepare yourself for living and/or building your dream home in paradise take a look at: http://www.eroatan.com/pierre/books.html.

Ciao, Pierre

By Pierre Renaldo, Mountain Coastal S.A,. General Contractors, Construction Management and Construction Consultants.