Roatan Insights © April 2001
News from the Honduras Bay Islands and North Coast
April 2001
By Pierre Renaldo, The Coastwatcher©

There is still time for many of you who intend to visit Roatan this spring to get here before the really hot summertime weather sets in. March was voted the best all around month to visit but the later spring months received acclaim from some readers too. I for one like May, but probably for different reasons that a tourist would consider valid.

May is the in between month. In between the winter tourist season and the summer season. If you talk to the airlines and travel people who are familiar with the "seasons" as it relates to travel in Central America they will tell you that we have a very distinct summer tourist season in the Caribbean islands and the North Coast of Honduras. It is the time the kids in the U.S. are off from school and that is when many people take vacations. So it stands to reason that some of those people with school age children will visit here during the traditional school vacation time in the U.S.

After living in Florida for so long I became rather tourist-shy when the snowbirds were down for the season. Everything was so crowded, long lines at the grocery checkout, the movie theatres, restaurants and worst of all, long lines getting off and on the causeways to the island beaches (where I happened to live). Don't get me wrong. I know that tourists are the lifeblood of resorts the world over. I am not anti-tourist, just anti-crowds.

Roatan has a big advantage over the Florida resorts. It has no causeways, so you can't just take a drive over to look at the water, or otherwise clutter the highways, even run out of gas on a two-lane drawbridge. And there was always the fender benders involving the little blue hair old ladies to keep you standing around in the blazing hot sun for an afternoon.

But a trip to the heart of Coxen Hole during the height of our tourist season is about as gruesome an experience as I can think of, traffic wise. It is what I would consider the "downtown" part of Coxen Hole. I call it the Black Hole of Calcutta, because it is something mystical, as well as challenging and nearly death defying.

I had to go down to immigrations the other day to renew my residency. (It only took two trips this time. I must be getting the hang of this place.) What a joy. The immigration part was a breeze. It was getting there and parking that was the biggie.

The big busses are always parked along the narrow pot-holed street, with vans, taxis, and vehicles of every description jammed into every square inch of parking space. I don't know what they are all hanging around there for, because I never see any large crowds of people waiting to get on/in them.

The places they choose to park are the most congested with vehicular traffic and pedestrians alike. Right in front of the entrance to Warrens, the grocery/general store in the middle of town, and when people come out to flag down a taxi, the driver can't get close enough to the entrance to carry the groceries for his next fare. Well it usually works, he waves his hand in the air and waits behind the wheel and the customer carries his/her own stuff.

There is barely room to walk anyplace, or drive, and all the banks and major businesses are located in this rinky-dink little part of a community where everybody wants to be located as close to the neighboring building as you can get. Even the houses are just about on top of each other. I guess if you went in by mule it wouldn't be so bad. It doesn't take much space to park a mule. You could even tie up him in one of the narrow back alleys.

We have the taxi drivers of Roatan who create our traffic jambs by stopping in the middle of the road to chit chat with other equally feeble minded nitwits, who are sitting behind the wheel of another taxi. They act like a bunch of little kids awaiting the next run of the "Bumper Car" ride at the amusement park. Stop and chat, then go fifty-MPH through the most heavily congested place on the island, because they have to be first.
First to what nobody knows, and if I ever discover where that place is I'll share the secret.

Besides these guys have 'Machismo' and that counts for a lot with taxi drivers. "What's a-matter stupid, do you tink I so dumb I doan know I parking in middle of road?"

They seem to favor stopping to display their stupidity right in the middle of the whole mess. There is no way of getting around them and they all do it. I think it is a symbol of how macho they are. While one is chatting, all the others behind him are honking their horns for the duration of the show. Don't drive through that mess if you don't have to. Park someplace and walk down to watch the never-ending circus. The whole show is free too.

We have the cruise ship days that make up for the lack of having a causeway to generate problems. The first big traffic jamb-up on a cruise ship day occurs when every public conveyance, van and taxi on the island is trying to park closest to the public pier where the big cruise ships tie up. The space left for through traffic is hardly wide enough for a small truck to get though, and when the space is too small for even that, well you just sit and wait until the brain-dead driver comes back from wherever he went. Then he acts like it's your entire fault that he is blocking the traffic lane. Well, even paradise has some flaws.

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I want to thank the multitudes of you, my readers and my friends who have taken the time to drop me a few lines of encouragement. I guess I'm hitting on some useful information and travel hints, because my audience is telling me they want more. I try to cover many subjects, so as to appeal to the variety of tastes out there. My objectives are to make you aware, to give timely and accurate information and to help you plan and enjoy your travel to this area.

Third world travel is different. The reasons this is third world are apparent mostly after you arrive here for the first time. Of course you have done some homework and some reading, so you know that Central America is almost all Spanish speaking, and very poor. The people (except maybe in Costa Rica) are not nearly as educated as you may expect and that fact rings true when your simple request for a second cup of coffee seems like it will be a world event by the time it gets to you, cold.

Simple things are not always simple here.

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Readers who are contemplating coming here for the first time have been asking me about what to bring and what the potential health problems might be. So let me comment on this important subject for those of you who have never before traveled to Central America or the Bay Islands. Always check first with your family doctor. He knows best what your personal problems could be. He may recommend immunizations that are especially for you.

There are no shot or vaccination requirements for travel to this region anymore. (I still keep my International Health Certificate in my passport just to have a record of when I had my last immunizations and when I am due for boosters.) However, you would be wise to consider some basic immunizations when traveling anywhere. Do we have mosquitoes? Yes we do, just like the U.S. and Canada. They bite. So do our no-see-ums. The north of the border countries have mosquitoes, deer flies, horse flies, moose flies and black flies, and we have our little bothersome critters too. There are areas where malaria and dengue fever are still of concern in Central America. You may or may not be nibbled upon, but get the pills just in case.

I do not say this in jest. Tonic Water, Quinac (same thing) is effective with or without the gin and lime. It has worked for us, but do not consider that you have the same kind of immune system that I or my wife have. I like mine with the gin and lime and lots of ice. Tangy!

Tetanus shots should always be a consideration when you are traveling, even if you do not leave your home state. I advise you to go to your nearest public health clinic and ask them what the recommended immunizations are for the areas in which you may be traveling. Then use your own judgement about letting somebody you don't even know stick needles into you.

Drinking water and fresh fruits and vegetables and sometimes the food in general, may cause you to have intestinal discomfort during your visit. Everybody reacts differently to these dietetic changes.
A word of caution.
Many local 'Tipico' foods are prepared with or cooked in lard, pure animal fat. Although irresistible, aromatic and delicious, they may have an unsettling effect on some constitutions. Also the calorie count is too high for you little pocket calculator to register.

Bring Imodium, Tums, Alike-Seltzer, aspirin (or non-aspirin painkiller) and Pepto Bismol or the patent medicines that you favor when Montazuma-like maladies have seized control of your innards. Also be sure that if you require any special medications that you bring an adequate supply for your stay. You can probably buy the stuff here, but unless you are positive, bring it with you.

I always take my medicine kit with me wherever I travel, in the U.S. or any foreign country. It has come in handy on many occasions, fortunately none of them emergencies. But we were glad for the convenience at the time. Let me sum up this subject by giving you my short list of health related things to take along when you travel internationally.

*Immunizations of your choice, and those recommended by your doctor.

*Plenty of Imodium, Tums, aspirin or similar, Alike-Seltzer, and Pepto-Bismol.

*Good insect repellent. Plenty will insure that you have a wonderful vacation. Don't forget to use it every time you go outside. Don't forget!
Apply frequently. Once in the morning will not last through the evening.

*Plenty of sunscreen, rated for your complexion characteristics. Use it often. The tropical sun can ruin your whole vacation if you are reckless about exposure. Some macho tourists who have played it tough have gotten sun poisoning and had to stay in the shade for the next year. Yea year!
Sun exposure problems are cumulative. You can get your tan even with sunscreen, so use it often and don't go bare skinned even if you already have a good tan.

*Mini first aid kit, including iodine, antibiotic ointment, anti itch ointment, Band-Aids, gauze patches, adhesive tape, small Ace bandage, blunt scissors, small sewing kit.

*Your regular medication(s) if required.

*This is not a health tip, but it could save you from personal injury. Leave your fancy jewelry at home. Do not wear lavish looking jewelry in poor third world countries. Leave the Rolex in your safe deposit box and get yourself a throwaway watch for travel. Do not tempt fate by wearing your best looking dangly ear rings in the world of "have nots." You may loose an earlobe for your trouble. You can do it up big when you get back home to your country club.

*This is not a health tip either, and it applies to travel in any third world region, but it may keep your wallet healthy. BRING A HANDY-DANDY LITTLE POCKET CALCULATOR. Carry it with you at all times. It will save you from being "Gringoed". The people here think all Americans have unlimited resources and you will quickly be relieved of your dollars if you are not paying close attention.

Don't get beat by a third grade mental giant. They all think you are not too bright, that your have an unlimited supply of money, that you are reckless in your spending habits and their objective is to get their hands on your greenbacks. You will become aware of the current exchange rate the first time you change money. Do it at a Bank! They are located right in the airports. Anyplace else is giving your money away.

+++ Please do not give money or anything else to begging children. +++

We are trying to eliminate this nuisance from ever happening on Roatan. The municipality of Roatan and the police force begs your assistance in helping us eliminate this problem.

The police frequently round up a hundred child beggars at a time and take them to the jail where their parents have to come to claim them. Most of them have been trained and sent by their parents to go our begging from the tourists. Their stories are all gross fabrications to gain your sympathy and many of them will pick your pockets or grab jewelry and cameras from your person if they get the chance. They are a menace and we are determined to end this industry of dishonesty.

Do not attempt to change money on the street!!!!!

Whenever you ride a taxi, negotiate the fare in advance, and make sure the quoted amount is for everybody in your party, not for each person. This is where your pocket calculator will do the translations for you. They may not speak English, but they all speak MONEY!

Always double check your tab in restaurants, grocery stores, (watch to make sure all the items you have paid for are put into your bag) and count your change before you leave the cashier. This goes for the bank tellers too. Try to learn your numbers in Spanish before you come on your first trip.

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Now as promised, and as a result of the many questions and comments from readers who plan on retiring in a Third World Paradise, in the near or not too distant future, I will include excerpts from my book, "How to Survive in Third World Retirement: The Handbook. You can preview this book on my book site at http://www.eroatan.com/pierre/books.html It is an excellent guide for what to expect and how to prepare yourself for the paperwork and other necessities for your residency, your move here, property purchases, forming a Honduras corporation, building projects, etc. if you intend to stay with us for a while.

How to Survive in Third World Retirement: The Handbook

Foreword

Caribbean Islands are very glamorous places to visit. While we are vacationing on one, we lie on a beautiful white sand beach looking at the crystalline emerald sea and we dream. "Someday," you say to yourself. "Someday I'm going to come here to live. I will do this every day, just like I'm doing now. I will retire here and spend the rest of my days in this wonderful paradise."

If you are coming to Roatan as a tourist, to soak up some sun, snorkel or dive, then read all the flowery brochures and come down for some fun. If you are coming here to live, then you need to take a longer look from a different slant. Living here and vacationing are not quite the same.

Retirement is a time to which most of us look forward. After toting the barge and lifting the bales for so long, you deserve a permanent vacation in a place of your choosing. It should be all fun, with every day a new adventure in your second life. We will stroll through all the ramifications of doing just that, going about it in the right way. It can be an exciting and pleasant journey.

Roatan is a very glamorous place, rich in folklore, with a fascinating history. We walk the beaches daily that were frequented by famous pirates not too long ago. Many of the islanders here are descendants of those pirates who liked the place so much they finally settled here permanently.

Columbus was within sight of Roatan when he stopped at Guanaja, just fifteen miles to the northeast of us. On clear days, we can see the North Coast where he landed and walked on the ancient cobbled road built by indigenous Indians, centuries before his arrival.

The infamous William Walker (little Napoleon) sailed the waters of the Bay Islands. This genius, surgeon, lawyer, editor, turned privateer (filibuster) proclaimed himself Emperor of Nicaragua, after a dubious election in that war torn region. Walker was contacted by British dissidents on Roatan to help them take the Bay Islands away from Honduras. The British had recently agreed to give this island group off the North Coast to an eager Central American recipient. These breakaway British residents wanted autonomy for the Bay Islands, and convinced Walker to invade Roatan and wrest control away from Hispanic dominion.

Walker, a renowned adventurer, marauder, condottiere`, feared throughout Central America, set sail for the Bay Islands, only to make an inadvertent landing at Trujillo, a fortress outpost on the North Coast. He was captured there by British Marines in a presumed attempt to invade Nicaragua for the second time and was turned over to the Honduran Government.

At high noon on September 12, 1860, he was executed by firing squad at the ripe old age of 36. Now that is really something. How many guys do you know who made emperor by age 36?

Not bad for a little kid from Tennessee.

Another interesting character who lived on Roatan for a short time was a writer known as O. Henry, whose real name was William Sydney Porter.
He came to the island in 1896 to escape prosecution and a jail sentence for embezzlement at a former place of employment in Austin, Texas. Mr. Porter had been an accountant and journalist, and after returning to the U.S. to face the music, he served a three-year sentence for his crime. He then went on to become a writer of renown in his day, and won acclaim for his witty and humorous short stories, many about crime and con artists. Two of my favorites were 'Shearing of the Lambs' and 'The Gentle Grafter', books of short stories written by Mr. O. Henry. There was even a radio series, back in the 30's and 40's, based on his writings named "The Arkansas Traveler".

Roatan is a melting pot. There are people of many races and origins living here. The earliest inhabitants were Indians about who little is known. They were possibly Mayan or close relatives, followed centuries later by the coming of the Garafuna, the freed African slaves from the Caribbean islands. These people settled along the coastal areas of Honduras and the Bay Islands, bringing with them a fascinating culture.

There are many Garafuna villages in existence today. The Garafuna have no written language, but they speak an ancient tongue among themselves, brought from Africa, and handed down from each generation to its children. There are colorful annual Garafuna celebrations that are a wonderful treat to behold.

The Bay Islands were a British possession until the year 1863. At that time, they were formally handed over to Honduras under great pressure from the American State Department, in its efforts to rid the Western Hemisphere of European presence (Monroe Doctrine). Until then, English was the official language of the islands and many natives still speak English today. Spanish is now the official language. All legal transactions and documentation are written in Spanish.

The Spanish people came here from various parts of the mainland, to work in the building trades and at the resorts as the tourism industry of the island grew. They settled in several island communities, mainly French Harbour, Barrio los Fuertes (home of the strong) and Coxen Hole. The Central American Spanish are a mix of indigenous Indians and the descendants of the conquistadors, a very handsome dark skin race of people called Mestezo. Occasionally you will meet one with the green eyes of the Castillian.

Another prominent group in Honduras is the Palestinians. These Arabic people migrated here in the early thirties during the crisis in Palestine, when the British, Arabs and the Turks were going at it over the Holy Land. They are a very prosperous people and a major factor in commerce in Honduras today. There is a TV channel that broadcasts directly to Honduras from Dubai, with all commentary in Arabic.

The pace here is slow and I for one have learned to enjoy life this way. My hurry-scurry attitude, instilled in me as a native New Yorker was greatly tempered by spending thirty years in Florida. The Deep South has its pace, which initially I found most annoying, even maddening at times.

The people of the South had something good going for themselves and that became evident once I became 'settled in'. They managed to get things done in good time, but without all the commotion to which New Yorkers had become addicted. For us everything had to be instantaneous. Quick was not fast enough.

The pace in the Bay islands is even slower than in the Deep South. I just want you to understand that nobody is in a hurry (except maybe the taxi drivers) in this place. Life is leisurely, as it should be in a locale of tourism, relaxation and retirement. Begin to condition yourself friends, if you plan on living in paradise. Everything moves more deliberately slower here. What's the hurry?

There are some legitimate reasons for this lackadaisical gait. As an island dweller, you will soon realize that not everything to which we have become accustomed is readily available on our island. Waiting for the 'next boat' is a tradition we must endure as island dwellers, like it or not. Sometimes the 'next boat' is a ruse, a feeble excuse for some shortcoming or oversight. Nevertheless, frequently the excuse is legitimate.

Just recently, my painters came into the office in a state of upset because of an accident involving the truck that was bringing our paint order from San Pedro Sula to the boat at Puerto Cortes. The driver lost control somehow and the whole truckload of paint is now a colorful abstract on the highway, near Puerto Cortes. We are currently among the multitude awaiting the next, 'next boat'.

The tropics have always had the reputation for things being done in slow motion. Sometimes, I think I have just imagined it when I pass a guy from Hondutel setting up a ladder to climb up a pole to fix somebody's telephone line, and when I pass by two hours later he is still standing in the same spot. Déjà vu. I remember seeing the same thing in Florida with the guys from FPL standing around as if they were in a tabloid on stage.

I have always believed that change is good for the sprit. It is refreshment for the soul, a breath of new life, challenge, a major transformation of scene, things exciting, sometimes crazy, even infuriating. But, we all come here to attain those states of mind that are induced by change. Paradise is a state of mind.

Your life here will be very different from what you have known. So much the better. It is good to get away from all that banter and bustle that has made living more hectic than you wished it to be.

Change is what living here is all about. If we wanted more of the same, we would just stay put. We yearn for something different. In time we realize that change is most often for the better, and if we look back at our own past we can remember that our lives have been filled with change. The Polynesians have a proverb, which I have felt was a personal message just meant for me, since I first read it in a book about the Hawaiian Islands.

The name of the book was 'Born in Paradise' by Eileen Von Tempski and in it she recounted her childhood, growing up on a cattle ranch on the big Island of Hawaii. She experienced many major changes in her young life as a child there a century ago. Some very wise and loving friends instilled these words in her: "Each life event is like a turning in the road. In order to find true happiness, one must learn to adjust to these changes."

Come to Roatan. Spend time here and on the mainland. Get to know the people, the language, the country and the cultures. Experience the lifestyle, the sometimes frustrating, often zany, downright crazy; the paradox, funny and sad at the same time.

Spend as long a time as possible in the place you intend to settle, before you take the leap into your third world paradise. That secret place you have been dreaming about for so long. Be sure it is for you. A two-week vacation will give you a taste. However, you do not get the full flavor until you have lived here for a while.

Now we will move on to the subjects at hand, those little necessities, and the bits of paper that seem to hold the world together. The bureaucrats feed on them and the politicians invent more forms, just to test our mettle, I think. Nevertheless, it must be done in order for you to begin your new life.

Chapter 1

The Most Common Residency Categories &
General Requirements to Qualify:

I would like to emphasize the words General Requirements before I begin this discussion, and for a very sound reason. I am a firm believer in first hand information. It is the exclusive method you should use to gather facts, the only way you will know truth when seeking that often-elusive circumstance.

I could outline specifics but the minute I did that the requirements would be altered in some way and then my facts would become misinformation for any future seekers of that knowledge. Having paid good money for a 'hot scoop handbook' just a few years ago, I now find that once cherished information worthless, at least in part. The reason is that governments change, as do most regulations right along with them and besides, my source of information was not nearly as accurate as it claimed.

Here is the main point and the best advice I can ever give you. If you really want to do it right, save yourself much hassle and time, then get the information you need directly from the Honduran consulate you will be using for all of your applications and documentation.

Retiree Status:

Attaining this status will entitle you to bring in ordinary household possessions duty free. The duty free status will also apply to one vehicle of your choice. You may not sell this vehicle until after it has been in Honduras for five consecutive years, unless you pay the import tax. After five years there is no tax if you should sell the vehicle. Import tax on vehicles is 100% of book value. After five years you may import another vehicle duty free and so on every five years thereafter.

You may be charged importation tax on items not considered as ordinary household goods, if the official processing your dispensa thinks they are not ordinary.

For instance:
1.) A case of partly used cans of spay paint.
2.) A red toolbox.

I use these two items as an example because they cost me two hundred and seventy-five bucks when I brought in my stuff. The toolbox was the biggie. The Aduana (customs agent) insisted it was the kind of red toolbox the mechanics have in the service departments of the car dealers. He refused to even go look at it. The dumb thing was worth $10.95 at Wal-Mart.

There will be some documents you will need:
a. Birth certificate
b. Valid passport
c. Marriage certificate if bringing a spouse
d. Police report from the law enforcement agency from your place of residence stating that you have no criminal record
e. Health certificate stating that you are free of communicable diseases and are in generally good health
f. Proof that you have a permanent income of at least $600* per month including spouse. * This amount may be increased by the time you read this. Check with the consul general with whom you will be making application for accurate updated information.
g. Eight passport photos
h. Money to pay for all the processing and application fees.
i.) A detailed list of all the household goods and vehicle(s) you will be importing to Honduras. This list should be organized much like a manifest since that is how it will be used. If goods are packed in boxes then list and label boxes by number, then describe briefly the contents of each. (i.e. Box #56. Hand tools and kitchen utensils.)
ii.) Banana boxes are the most wonderful things ever invented for packing, moving and storing your goods. They are very sturdy and very easy to handle with the built in handgrips. Usually available at your local supermarket for free or very little cost.
iii.) List and label all pieces of furniture. Place a numbered sticker on each piece of furniture corresponding to the number on the manifest.
iv.) Example: Item # 221- 1-three piece sectional sofa. DO NOT MAKE YOUR POSSESSIONS SOUND EXPENSIVE. Keep it simple and do not brag. I'll show you a version of how not to list this same sectional:

1- three-piece gold raw silk cushioned sectional sofa. The Aduana (pronounced 'I doan wanna') will never let you get away with that. He will think you are importing something completely out of the ordinary. He already knows all Norte Americanos are filthy rich. Keep descriptions as ordinary as you can make them sound.

The whole list of things you are importing is going to be translated into Spanish and you have no idea how your flowery language may be interpreted. Use very simple language. If you have an armoire, call it a chest. Don't confuse the already confused.

Now I will make a few suggestions to you that usually work wonders in Honduras, as to proper documentation for residency including your manifest of household goods, which will later become known as your Dispensa.

1.) Have all documents that are required to be translated into Spanish done by your consulate. There are many differences in the way Spanish is spoken and understood throughout the Western Hemisphere. Many words do not have the same meaning in Honduras as they would in Puerto Rico. You want your Spanish to be Honduras Spanish.

2.) Induce your consul to stamp all the documents two or three times, every page. People here are very impressed with documents that have many stamps. The more stamps, the more authentic and official it becomes.

3.) Pay your consul to write a special letter of recommendation for you, expressing how highly he/she thinks of you, and what a wonderful treat Honduras is in for when you arrive to live there. "The country needs people of this caliber."

4.) Do all… repeat… all, documentation and authentication in the U.S.A. Do not attempt to get it done while living here. It will take forever if it is completed at all. You will probably have to go back to the U.S. for something that you cannot get any other way, so save your money for a fun trip instead of on an expense that can be avoided.

5.) Get all information as to your residency requirements from the consulate that will be handling your case in the U.S.A. They represent the official up to the moment government regulations of Honduras. They are the only source of official government information you should rely on.

Rentista Status:

To be continued in the May 2001 issue of Roatan Insights"

If you want to read the whole book now you may do so by ordering it at my book site: http://www.eroatan.com/pierre/handbook.html

Reading for entertainment.

My novel "Red Dog Chronicles" will be in the bookstores by mid-summer. It is based on a short segment of aviation history that I was a part of shortly after W.W.II. Click: http://www.eroatan.com/pierre/books.html

There was in existence then, an airline that carried U.S. Mail exclusively. The name of that company was All American Airways, Inc. whose parent company was E.I. Dupont of Wilmington, Delaware. The aircraft used in this operation were very maneuverable and powerful Stinson Voyagers with the big nine cylinder rotary engines and were equipped to pick U.S. Mail and Air Express, on the fly, without landing.

Due to the outstanding performance of this fledgling company, they were granted a certificate to carry passengers only a few years after the inception of their pick-up operations. The company was later re-named Allegheny Airways, and after many years, mergers and acquisitions, it evolved into what is known today known as U.S. Airways.

It is a story of how chance and fate bring many W.W. II flyers together in an exciting, often hilarious, romantic adventure; then a few of this group become involved in another milestone of aviation history. The advent of helicopters being used as a weapons system in actual combat. The deadly SK-61A Cyclone, the first assault helicopters ever used in modern warfare, in a theatre of operations known as the Korean War.

Remember that I am always pleased to meet those of you who would like to stop in to say hello when you come to Roatan.

I'm always happy to answer your questions with honest and timely answers. Just drop me a line at: elouis@globalnet.hn.

Ciao, Pierre

As of April 1, 2001 the exchange rate on Roatan was: $1. U.S. = LPS 15.20
You can always expect a better rate on the mainland.
More next month.

By Pierre Renaldo, Mountain Coastal S.A,. General Contractors, Construction Management and Construction Consultants.